Debra Jones

Dec 2016

- How to reopen the door of possibilities

In these changing times, many are feeling insecure in the world and in their lives.  Do you feel in control or controlled?  Do you feel that you have the power to make decisions for yourself or have you given your power away to those who you believe should have it?  In my healing practice, I’ve discovered that it is common for many of us to hand their power over to another – unaware that the uncomfortable feeling of powerlessness is simply the result of the CHOICE that they exercised their power to make. 

Did you know that no one can take your power from you – you must give it to them, for them to have it?

I’ve discovered that the root of the problem is simply the BELIEF that you have no choice.

Belief means ‘an assumed truth’.  We create beliefs to anchor our understanding of the world and once we've formed one, we tend to persevere with it.  So, a belief is just a thought that we keep thinking over and over.  We can change our beliefs if we change the thought that created it.

Viewing your situation from another perspective is not always easy, but doing so can change the outcome.

I’d like you to consider for a moment, the possibility that we might ALWAYS have choice.  We may CHOOSE to believe that another human being has more power than we do, or that we are powerless to change a situation.  However, that is still a perception and a belief that we have chosen.

What is power anyway?

  1. the ability to do something
  2. the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behavior of others, or the course of events.

So, all that means is that you believe that the person has power over you, giving them the ability to influence you.  You believe that they have power… so, you give it to them.

Furthermore, giving your power to them influences them to believe that they have power over you and so they believe they do ... and act accordingly.

Or – you believe that a situation has the capacity to direct or influence you … and so it does.

It’s quite possible that we may choose to dis-empower ourselves to prevent the occurrence of something more painful.  We humans are wired to avoid pain at all costs.  We’re even willing to pay the high price of giving our power away to avoid pain, and if what we’re getting in return feels worth it – we make that choice. 

Take a moment to stop and think about a choice you’ve recently made to avoid pain or discomfort.  If a thought doesn’t easily come to mind, a clue may be around something you don’t feel so great about in your life.  Something that isn’t working for you and you’re tolerating it.  Then ask yourself: “Why do I make this choice?  What am I getting in return?”  Then you can consider whether or not the price you are paying matches the perceived gain.

At this point it’s important to mention that I’m not suggesting that you adopt a defeatist attitude to what you deem unfair or unjust, I’m simply asking you to discern if your resistance diminishes you in any way.   

Some may feel that justification and acceptance of an undesirable situation somehow makes you weak or prevents you from having the courage to push forward and change it - like you’re waving the white flag.  Let me ask you this:  That courage (to push forward) – where is that?  And why haven’t you used it yet?  Its because that courage ... its not there.  Yet. 

Let’s find it…

Jungian theory tells us that ‘what we resist persists’.  Its not the situation that's causing us pain – its how we perceive the situation.  The more we resist, the more the situation persists. 

We’ve given away our power to it and that has left us power-LESS.  Logically then, if we take back our power, we’ll have the ‘power supply’ necessary to move forward and away from the pain.  It will no longer persist.

Here’s how to stop resisting in 3 easy steps

STOP whatever you’re doing so that you can reconnect with your power.

  1. TAKE A BREATHER  - Go on, close your eyes for a moment.  Slow down your breathing and take 3 long … slow … deep … breaths.  Allow your muscles to relax – especially those in your shoulders, hips and stomach and even around your eyes.  Gift yourself a moment to become centered and grounded.  Focus on your breath so that your attention is brought into the 'NOW'.   

  2. CHOOSE TO TAKE BACK YOUR POWER – say it out loud: “I TAKE BACK MY POWER AND I ACCEPT IT NOW!”  Pick up that imaginary white flag and purposefully wave it to signify that you choose to no longer resist.

  3. That’s it – there's no step 3!

So now what?

To get what you want - want what you get!

Let me give you an example.  If you are in a job you don’t like and you feel powerless to make a move away from the situation – your answer to the question “what am I getting in return?” might be “A pay cheque so I can afford to live in my home and put food on the table.”  Would that be a good return?  I’d say so!  Wouldn’t it be MORE painful to have NO home and an empty stomach!  Exactly!  So, then you will see that it IS in your highest good to stay in that job for now. 

Changing your perspective is the key to opening the door to something better.  Stop resisting, and the situation can no longer persist.  Remember – what we resist persists, what we think and feel we make real, and what we befriend we transcend.

Blessings on your precious journey of discovery.

Debra Jones - Reiki Master

Specializing in Stress, Anxiety & Depression