Well Done! You've recognized there is chaos in your life - now what?
Firstly, know that you're not alone. Everybody feels it at certain times in their life. The question is: What are you going to do about the chaos in YOUR life?
Allow me to share with you my tried and tested:
7 Steps to Sanity
STEP 1. Take Back Your Power
Knowing that you are the curator of your life is an important first step.
It enables you to know that you can change it if you choose to.
The next step is to exercise your power and CHOOSE another way!
STEP 2. Make the Decision to Create Calm in your Life
Nothing manifests differently until it has direction. You may continue on 'default' which basically means 'do the same thing and get the same result' -OR- 'step off the merry-go-round' and choose a different path. Once you've made your decision you may A: Continue on default - or- B: Go to step 3...
STEP 3. Breathe Consciously
Not that shallow kind of normal breath, but the DEEPEST breath you can muster.
Go for it ... (BREATHE IN, THEN OUT FORCEFULLY)
... and do it again - an EVEN BIGGER BREATH
...and then do it again - Now THAT'S the depth of breath you need!
Keep going and notice how it gets easier with each breath, allowing any stress or tension to leave with your out-breath...
Keep breathing deeply for as long as you feel the need to.
STEP 4. Disrupt your Routine
Although we started this in step 3 - there's more to do. STOP what you're doing. Turn off your phone and your computer (trust me - you'll thank me). Put the kettle on and make a cup of tea (OK, that's because I'm British but you can do it too if you want), or go for a walk in nature. Give yourself a 'gift of time' for a worthy cause - YOU!
STEP 5. Shift your Energy
Alter the trajectory of chaos by shifting the energy in your immediate environment. If you chose the walk in nature, Mother Nature is already doing this for you. If not, two of my favourite ways of doing this are playing loud music (Happy Pop gets me singing and dancing around the room - even though that is the furthest thing from my mind, it really works if I fake it 'til I make it)
or taking a shower and singing Do Re Mi as loudly as I can.
No, I haven't lost my marbles, I have a perfectly good explanation for this:
As I sing the scales, I notice which notes I sing strongly and which are weak.
The reason being that the 7 major chakras each have a different resonance or vibration, which match the vibration rates of the notes in the musical scales.
By repeating the notes that seem weak, I strengthen and therefore balance the weakened chakras.
STEP 6. Process your Emotions
If you're upset about something, or someone, admit to yourself what you are actually upset about. What is it that you are afraid of? What pain has it uncovered?
Instead of feeling anger or frustration, process your emotions by answering those questions until you feel calmer, then express yourself by talking to a friend or partner, or to the person that has upset you, or write it all down to get it out on paper. NOTE: Destroy the paper when you're done - the purpose is to release the energy of the anger or frustration - not to keep a record of it.
STEP 7. Shift into Gratitude, Forgive Yourself and Get Support
Now that you have calmed right down, what IS working for you in your life? What can you be grateful for?
List 5 things you are grateful for today - add more if you can think of more. This is the point where I tend to be hard on myself - listen to the self-talk. I often notice that I'm berating myself for getting to this point and telling myself I should know better. If this happens, this is when I need the support of my guides and angels (Yes, you do have them too) and I connect to my Higher Self, the one who can see the bigger picture that I'm obviously not seeing yet.
I reach for any oracle card deck and pull just one card - with the intention that it will have the message I need to hear right now.
If you don't own an oracle card deck, I highly recommend getting one. Amazon have many to choose from. Any one will do, or try a free online reading here.
If you've followed these steps I guarantee you're feeling better than you were.
They work for me EVERY TIME!
As 2017 comes to a close, it's time to review who you've become and who you want to be. It's time to CHOOSE what you want to take forward into 2018.
The energies of 2017 have helped us see illusion in our lives, and it is quite possible that you've come to a profound revelation that it's time to let go of something, or someone, in your life, to be free to be the most 'AUTHENTIC YOU' in 2018.
December energies are helping you to move forward by supporting the act of letting go.
If you choose to let go of a relationship or partnership, it's important to be gentle in your approach. Avoid sudden change. The outcome is likely to be better when you avoid shocking or abrupt actions that may create emotional trauma.
Be kind, be truthful and let your heart lead you.
SPEAK YOUR TRUTH
Let's face it, we've all evolved. None of us are who we used to be.
I recently sat down for a chat with myself to determine what aspects of my life were no longer the fit they used to be. Once I had identified them, it took courage to allow myself to let go of things that didn't feel great anymore - things I'd been holding onto because I thought I 'should', to avoid disappointing others.
I felt a deep sense of relief when I gave myself permission to evolve. I noticed that I had been holding myself back, keeping myself small, and that felt like I was being restrained, like I was walking through a tunnel with my focus on a small light at the end of it.
What I discovered, when I let go of the things that no longer resonated, was that the tunnel no longer existed and I became the light!
I AM THE LIGHT
... and you are too!
Shine, like the diamond you are!
'Anything you can't control is teaching you how to let go'
- Jackson Kiddard
The light is shining on the truth. It's the end of illusion. We are now seeing what is TRUE in our relationships and in our world and we can no longer ignore it. This can be unsettling. It may turn our personal world upside down. Not only have we been questioning “Who am I?”, we’re now questioning our relationship with the world and the people around us, the careers we’re in, the life we’ve created for ourselves. Is it true? Are we living authentically? The situations that we feel we have no control over are way-showers. The light is also shining on what is NOT our truth.
We can try to deny it, we can choose to keep the status quo, but we KNOW we are lying to ourselves, and THAT is becoming more and more UNACCEPTABLE to us. Once the truth is revealed it cannot be covered up or hidden, no matter how hard we try to hide it.
So where do we go with this truth?
It scares us. Or does it ... really? If it IS the truth, why do we run from it?
We’ve been conditioned to. We are hardwired to avoid pain. The beliefs that we have long-held are getting in our way.
Beliefs are simply thoughts, that we have given our energy to. Beliefs are only thoughts that we continue to think, over and over again. The good news is that if we GIVE OURSELVES PERMISSION to ALLOW a different thought to come in, and we give that thought our attention, our energy, we can create a NEW belief.
This new belief can be one that is in true alignment with our Soul. If we choose to follow the Soul’s Path, it's there that we’ll find true peace.
Perhaps you’re thinking: “But how can I allow myself to change my path? It may hurt others if I change my direction and I don’t want anyone to be hurt.”
Think about it. Someone IS getting hurt. YOU!
If your birthright is to live a life of joy and happiness (which, by the way, is the truth), then why are you accepting a life of pain or unhappiness? If you’re not living the life you were given, then who is? And whose life are YOU living? A life that is based on other people’s ideas of what your life should look like? You don’t have to live a life by others’ rules, you’re a grownup now, you can make your own rules. Conversely, are you expecting someone to live a life through YOUR rules? That is just as damaging to their Soul’s Path as it is to yours. Cosmically, the light is shining on the truth FOR ALL OF US. Let us allow others to follow their own truth too!
It’s not easy to walk this journey alone. If you're fortunate enough to have the support for your new authentic path through a trusted friend or partner, you can assist each other and guide each other to authenticity. Perhaps you know of a therapist, counselor or healer who can offer you a safe place to explore your true desires? Enlist their support for as long as you need it. (Know that I offer this support too). But if you cannot secure this support, there IS another way.
NATURE can, and will support your journey. It is STABILITY that we seek as we navigate these choppy waters. Stability can be found in the elements around us that have stood the test of time. That stability can be found in the rocks that have been there for eons. There are trees that have stood for a hundred years or more, the waters have been around since the beginning of time, rising up from the oceans and into the clouds, to rain down again upon the earth, over and over again.
In nature we find stability. It grounds us. Our soul can be fed by it. It offers itself to you. Seek it, find it, BE with it and listen to what it whispers to you. It's there that you’ll hear your inner truth, in the silence you’ll discover the way forward. You are here for a short time, make it a great time, and when we find each other on the other side, we’ll laugh about just how serious we thought life had to be.
Have you noticed yet, that life seems a little (or a lot) different after the Total Solar Eclipse?
It's not your imagination, you HAVE been affected - - - in a positive way.
This latest SHIFT has aligned us all onto the path of actualizing our fullest potential. The things you need to change, in order to accomplish this, have been shoved under your nose. You cannot avoid it any longer. It MUST be dealt with - - - or released.
In my healing room I see many clients who, collectively, reveal to me a pattern. I get to see where our collective consciousness resides as they bring to me the stories of what they are noticing in their lives. This is the reason that my emails resonate with so many of you! I write about where we are and what we are dealing with, in order to assist those who cannot come for personal attention.
For many this emotional roller coaster is frustrating.
For others, it's downright scary.
But for some, (those that can raise their hands up in the air) it is teaching how to trust and let go of the process! THEY ARE THE ONES ENJOYING THE RIDE!
"OK!" You say. "How exactly do I do that"
Scroll your way down the blog posts below - to May 2016 - THE BLISS OF SURRENDER - read that! It's a great starting point.
As you're scrolling, your eyes may catch the attention of other posts that carry the information that resonates with you at this time, such as THE OTHER SIDE OF CHAOS or WHAT WE RESIST PERSISTS.
If you would like personal attention to assist you in your unique situation. I'm here for you!.
Weather patterns have a correlation to Earth’s energy.
Earth’s energy has a correlation to human consciousness – what we're aware of and how we're feeling.
Did you know that there are special Weather Stations positioned all over the globe that have been picking up the shift in collective consciousness? They’re called GCI’s – A Global Coherence Monitoring System, a worldwide network of magnetometers that collect a continuous stream of data from the Earth’s magnetic field.
Moments of collective high anxiety, tension and passion can create noticeable changes in the normal vibration level of the earth. A change was recorded during the most recent US inauguration!
The Earth’s vibration is called the Schumann Resonance - aka the Earth’s Heartbeat. It vibrates at the same rate as a balanced Heart Chakra (and the reason why being in nature restores and heals us).
The weather is a mirror to our thoughts and feelings and shows the turmoil many of us are experiencing within. The Earth's Heartbeat is getting faster, deep wounds are being uncovered, dark secrets are being revealed... While all this Truth is emerging, it might help you to know that WE ARE EVOLVING EXACTLY AS OUR SOUL PATH HAS PLANNED.
Instead of letting the anxiety and tension get to you, step up - and into - your power and do something that could be considered quite odd.
Yep, even though it’s probably the last thing you feel like doing – try it anyway and see how laughter can reset your stress level back to normal. Let me explain:
You’ve seen the Laughing Buddha - a bald, pot-bellied monk raising his arms as he roars with laughter. Not just a cheap trinket in a market stall, but a way-shower to enlightenment. Don’t believe me? Read on.
The laughing Buddha has great wisdom. He knows who he is and that life is just an illusion. His message is to teach us this wisdom and that laughter can be an expression of enlightenment.
The Buddha doesn’t laugh at himself or at others, he doesn’t laugh because he’s acquired something others don’t have. The laughter isn’t cynical, sarcastic, bitter or defiant. It’s the laughter of compassion, amusement at the interplay of knowledge and ignorance that makes up the joys and sorrows of what we call life.
Turn up your volume and get ready for some Laughter Therapy. It's sure to reset your vibration - and that of our planet Earth too!
Click here: https://youtu.be/15q_K5r3RzU
We've ALL been experiencing the global ascension - aka 'The Shift'.
Take a deep breath. We've reached the top of the mountain.
Sit for a while, before you join us in the decent into the New World - a new way of being.
We've experienced chaos and discord in varying degrees - and we have survived.
The experienced has allowed us to become aware of our own unique aspects of our TRUE SELF.
Take a moment to reflect on these two questions:
This chaos has been a lesson for us - to show us who we really are - to discover our true colours.
By individuating, creating separation, you'll begin to see a beautiful expression of your Self. Avoid getting pulled into judgement - of who is right and who is wrong. Stay in the place of truth about yourself. Your deepest true identity is emerging from within.
You need to see how you're different today. You no longer need to replay the ways of your previous Self. Use your current wisdom to make NEW choices that are more in alignment with your true Self. This is a journey of Self. No need to convince or convert others - just be yourSelf - do it YOUR way, and allow them to do it theirs.
From this seat in the audience, you'll find your true Self and then you will notice that you're viewing the scene from a higher perspective. You'll move into a place of love and compassion - for yourself and for others.
It is then, that you'll return back wholeness, oneness with all. Aware of your infinite potential.
Through discord and detachment we can become aware of the unique part of ourselves. It's a necessary part of the evolution process.
These are trying times!
For those of us that need to be constantly moving forward - constantly wondering 'what's next', feeling like we're running on the hamster wheel of life, believing that we can't let it stop turning ... this is for you:
Currently, many enlightenedsources are delivering the same message:
'listen to the ancestral echoes of wisdom from deep within your heart'
'loving what is'
'fully and deeply appreciate what you have'
'You can run around like a chicken or you can press your inner ear to that heartbeat and align'
'accept the current ‘chaos’ and ‘disorder’ and allow the energy of Love to guide'
'A NEW QUALITY OF BEING is revealed'
This current 'shift' took me a while before I figured out what to do about how I was feeling. When I'm perplexed and/or frustrated, I have sources that I turn to, that can shine the light on the path I need to take. This time, however, my sources were making me even more deeply confused because I was asking the questions "What next?" "Which direction should I go?" "What do I need to do?"
In hindsight I see that I was asking the wrong questions, however, my quest lead me to the answer. (Well, actually a dear healer friend eventually guided me to it - thanks Ingrid)
AFTER I surrendered and admitted that I didn't know the way, this is what appeared:
When you stop the backward or forward movement of mind, you are IN THE NOW.
In that NOW moment you realize that you are SAFE, that there ARE no fires to extinguish, that you EXIST without effort.
It is from this place of inner peace that you shed anxiety and can trust that all is well. Trusting that you know all there is to know in this moment.
It is in the NOW moment that you can be free of that hamster wheel.
You have revealed a NEW QUALITY OF BEING!
Remember how to return to the NOW next time you find yourself on that hamster wheel of life.
You CAN Meditate! Here's how:
It's common knowledge that meditation is good for you, but for some, sitting still and emptying the mind is a skill best left to the Buddha on the mountain.
There's an easier way!
All you need to do is gift yourself just 10 minutes to close your eyes and be GUIDED into deep relaxation! You'll emerge refreshed, rejuvenated and ready to join the world again.
With the help of my talented 'sound-engineer' son (Thanks Matt), we've remastered four of my best-selling guided meditations ... with more on the way.
Try one for FREE today and if you like it, download it onto any device to listen whenever and wherever you choose. P.S. All donations go to Matt's education fund.
Check it out here
Goddess energy is alive
This isn’t like the feminism movement of the ‘60s when, to loosen the grip of patriarchal rule (where men had power over women), it was deemed necessary to force the balance back to centre for equal rights for women.
This isn’t about shifting the power over to the women; it isn’t about creating a matriarchal society. This is a breakdown of the patriarchy and the beginning of a NEW EARTH. It’s about bringing balance and harmony back into our world for ALL.
The most commonly recognized form of power, POWER OVER, has many negative associations such as repression, force, coercion, discrimination, corruption, and abuse. Experienced as a ‘win-lose’ situation, having this power involves taking it from someone else, and then using it to dominate and prevent others from gaining it.
POWER WITH is about finding common ground among different interests and building collective strength. Based on mutual support, solidarity and collaboration, it multiplies individual talents and knowledge. ‘Power with’ can help build bridges across different interests to transform or reduce social conflict and promote equitable relations.
The difference is clearly either ‘win/lose’ or ‘win/win’ and any compassionate soul will recognize the option that is more in harmony with a peaceful and joyful existence.
NOW - Women are gathering and taking their power back – using the 'POWER WITH' philosophy to bring harmony back into their own lives first, then into the lives of those they care about.
Studies have shown that the vibration level of the earth has already shifted as we collectively move out of FEAR (low vibration) and into LOVE (high vibration). We are raising our consciousness to greater truth. The veil is lifting. The blinders are coming off.
That’s a good question and one that I suggest you try to answer before you read on.
It’s about creating balance in your own life.
Notice where YOU may be out of balance and take action to BRING YOURSELF BACK INTO BALANCE.
Women, if you experience laziness, depression, lack of motivation or over-nurturing tendencies - just add a dollop of focus, discipline or activity.
Men, if you experience aggressiveness, narrow-mindedness, coldness towards others or frustration – just add a smidgen of openness, patience, caring, wisdom, flexibility, or compassion.
Being in balance SIMPLY FEELS BETTER and helps us live in harmony with others on this Earth.
Everything we’ve been taught about addiction is wrong. The information we’ve been given is that whatever you’re addicted to makes you dependent on it, you start to physically need it, and then can’t function without it. Now you’re an addict!
In addition, punishment or traditional intervention methods for addiction can be counter-productive and do not address the real issue.
It may surprise you to know that smartphones … eating … drinking … shopping … work … gaming and social media are just a few common addictions that, for some, are unrecognized as such.
'Ask not why the addiction, but why the pain.'
– Gabor Maté
New evidence in the alternative medical field claims that addiction is a replacement for a lack of human connection. You may have experienced trauma of disconnection in childhood or adulthood - a loved one dying or leaving, being removed from those you love, or a disconnection not as obvious, but just as painful. ‘Not all addictions are rooted in abuse or trauma’, says Canadian physician Dr. Gabor Maté, ‘but I do believe they can all be traced to painful experience.’ He says ‘It is impossible to understand addiction without asking what relief the addict finds, or hopes to find, in the drug or the addictive behaviour.’
Investigating a little deeper, trauma is well-known to cause interruption to healthy neural wiring (connections) in the brain. These misrouted connections are the reason why we learn unhealthy behaviour.
Those who have suffered trauma, particularly children, can be left with an underlying sense that the world is not safe, or that people cannot be trusted. Removing that sense of trust, that our family, community and society will keep us safe, results in isolation – a lack of connection. We then look for a cure for the uncomfortable feeling caused by the painful experience and, once found, it becomes the source used to escape the pain.
People who have human connections and healthy relationships that they want to be present for, do not need addictions because their basic human need has been filled with these connections.
One way that neural re-wiring is possible is by valuing the addict so they can learn to value themselves. When an addict who chooses to acknowledge their emotional pain, is loved and cared for until they can learn to love themselves, they will no longer need their addiction.
If the addict can begin to reconnect with others, new neural pathways can be made in the brain so that feelings are re-routed and the pain can be released.
So, you may wonder “How can checking my smartphone every time it pings mean I’m disconnected? Aren’t I MORE connected because I’m in constant contact with my ‘friends’?” This type of connection is a virtual connection – virtual means ‘not physically existing but made to appear that way’. This type of connection does not fill the basic human need for physical connection with another human. Only a network of real human-to-human connections does this.
The good news is that there’s a very easy way to help yourself or the people that you care about. Addiction is not so much about individual recovery, but more about social recovery. It’s something we do together. Making time to connect with other humans (whose faces aren’t in THEIR smartphones) fostering and growing those connections, communities coming together, even Facebook groups arranging gatherings of its human members at a physical location are the way forward.
As aptly quoted by Brené Brown, ‘connection (is) the energy that exists between people when they feel seen, heard, and valued…’
Moon Cycles February 2017
Believe it or not, the moon affects your life. Life is a series of experiences and patterns that correlate with the patterns of the moon’s cycle. In nature, the NEW MOON is the time for NEW BEGINNINGS, to plant seeds of intention for what you want to grow in your life. Setting conscious intentions during the energy of the New Moon is a common custom as it is said that, as the moon grows, your intention will too, by the time the moon completes it’s cycle back to New Moon.
The NEW Moon is called the dark moon as it appears dark, or invisible, in the sky.
As the days go by, the sliver of the crescent moon is WAXING, getting larger and larger, until the moon is viewed in it’s entirety as a FULL Moon. Then, it is described as WANING, or decreasing in size in stages until it appears again, the following month, as a dark moon – and the cycle continues.
This lunar cycle controls the tides because the phase of the moon determines the gravitational pull on water. Women’s menstrual cycle is often aligned to the moon cycle. Less well known, the moon is also linked to the electro-chemistry of the brain. Science has documented more seizures in the already unstable brain chemistry of epileptic patients around the Full Moon. For those of us with more stable brain chemistry, we are still likely to be afflicted with some type of lunacy at this stage of the moon’s cycle.
People are starting to relate to the effects of the moon on sleep patterns – finding it harder to get to sleep and remain asleep when the moon is full, whether or not the moonlight is visible from their bed. The most powerful effects of the New and Full moons are during eclipses. This upcoming Full moon is in fact a LUNAR ECLIPSE, so pay attention to your experiences.
The New Moon is the start of a new life cycle - a time to initiate things, to begin new projects. The magic of the New Moon is that for one day each month, the Sun and the Moon are on the same page. Both the Sun and the Moon work together to determine how wants and needs can be merged, how the subconscious and conscious minds can work together. Every New Moon is an opportunity to direct our destiny and what better way than to create a ritual to support that destiny. A ritual is simply a well-defined sequence of words and/or actions designed to focus attention, establish significance, and achieve a beneficial result. Try it for yourself:
Consider a ritual to be sacred work. Dedicate a small side table, surface or tray to hold your sacred artifacts. Meaningful pictures, crystals, talismans, found objects are all items that can make up your collection. Just add a candle and you’ve created your ‘sacred altar’.
An act becomes a ritual due to your dedication to the act itself. Honour the ritual by careful preparation - cleanse yourself either with a bath or shower, or by clearing your energy. Smudging is one way to cleanse your energy field. Light the end of a sage wand and blow on it to extinguish the flame, leaving a smoldering glow. Allow the smoke to take with it any energies that need removing by passing the wand around your own body, and in the space of your ritual. Clear your mind with meditation or calming music.
The significance of the ritual lies in your intention. What seeds do you want to plant? What do you want to grow? Make a list of your dreams and desires (for inspiration check out the list of New Moon intentions always listed in my monthly MoonCycles email).
If you like you can add a symbolic act like burning your list to send the energy of your message into the Universe or up to the heavens, or simply state your intentions out loud before carefully folding your list and placing it in a box or envelope that you’ll keep with your sacred artifacts. Perhaps you want to keep your list in a visible place, on your fridge or in your wallet.
Be sure to make notes in your journal about your progress towards manifesting your intentions and, at the next FULL MOON, find ways to ‘TAKE ACTION’ on these intentions and celebrate even the smallest signs of change.
May all your intentions come true!
According to The Power of Habit by Charles Duhigg, you cannot eliminate a habit simply by an intention (or New Year's Resolution) to break it - it must be REPLACED with a new one.
A cue is anything that can trigger a routine. It could be a place, a situation, a time... Do you exercise your habit when you're around particular people? Do you indulge this habit each day at a particular time? Do you succumb to this habit whenever you're stressed? Keeping a journal is an excellent way to notice patterns in your behaviour.
This needs to be practical and actionable. Your old habit gave you a hit of dopamine, the 'feel good' chemical, and because you WANT to feel good, you're wired to repeat a habit that makes you feel good. Therefore, the ONLY way to replace an unwanted habit is to create a replacement habit that makes you feel AS GOOD AS, if not better than, the old habit.
It is important to reinforce new behaviour with a reward - something positive that makes you want to repeat it. Write your goal on paper or create a vision board of pictures that represent your goal so that you will be reminded of the ultimate reward when tempted to return to your old habit. Also, plan to give yourself a reward through different stages or phases towards your goal.
Without belief that change is possible, change is impossible. To succeed in creating a new habit you need to be accountable to it. It is important to have support from friends, family or a higher power to turn to when you're challenged and to encourage you to continue when you feel like giving up. Write a list of potential problems that may tempt you to give up. Then beside each one, write solutions on what you'll do to overcome them.
2017 is the year of New Beginnings
On January 1st we enter the 1:1:1 Portal, meaning that we all have Universal Support to start anything new! Harness this support and make 2017 your best year yet!
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
In these changing times, many are feeling insecure in the world and in their lives. Do you feel in control or controlled? Do you feel that you have the power to make decisions for yourself or have you given your power away to those who you believe should have it? In my healing practice, I’ve discovered that it is common for many of us to hand their power over to another – unaware that the uncomfortable feeling of powerlessness is simply the result of the CHOICE that they exercised their power to make.
I’ve discovered that the root of the problem is simply the BELIEF that you have no choice.
Belief means ‘an assumed truth’. We create beliefs to anchor our understanding of the world and once we've formed one, we tend to persevere with it. So, a belief is just a thought that we keep thinking over and over. We can change our beliefs if we change the thought that created it.
Viewing your situation from another perspective is not always easy, but doing so can change the outcome.
I’d like you to consider for a moment, the possibility that we might ALWAYS have choice. We may CHOOSE to believe that another human being has more power than we do, or that we are powerless to change a situation. However, that is still a perception and a belief that we have chosen.
So, all that means is that you believe that the person has power over you, giving them the ability to influence you. You believe that they have power… so, you give it to them.
Furthermore, giving your power to them influences them to believe that they have power over you and so they believe they do ... and act accordingly.
Or – you believe that a situation has the capacity to direct or influence you … and so it does.
It’s quite possible that we may choose to dis-empower ourselves to prevent the occurrence of something more painful. We humans are wired to avoid pain at all costs. We’re even willing to pay the high price of giving our power away to avoid pain, and if what we’re getting in return feels worth it – we make that choice.
Take a moment to stop and think about a choice you’ve recently made to avoid pain or discomfort. If a thought doesn’t easily come to mind, a clue may be around something you don’t feel so great about in your life. Something that isn’t working for you and you’re tolerating it. Then ask yourself: “Why do I make this choice? What am I getting in return?” Then you can consider whether or not the price you are paying matches the perceived gain.
At this point it’s important to mention that I’m not suggesting that you adopt a defeatist attitude to what you deem unfair or unjust, I’m simply asking you to discern if your resistance diminishes you in any way.
Some may feel that justification and acceptance of an undesirable situation somehow makes you weak or prevents you from having the courage to push forward and change it - like you’re waving the white flag. Let me ask you this: That courage (to push forward) – where is that? And why haven’t you used it yet? Its because that courage ... its not there. Yet.
Jungian theory tells us that ‘what we resist persists’. Its not the situation that's causing us pain – its how we perceive the situation. The more we resist, the more the situation persists.
We’ve given away our power to it and that has left us power-LESS. Logically then, if we take back our power, we’ll have the ‘power supply’ necessary to move forward and away from the pain. It will no longer persist.
STOP whatever you’re doing so that you can reconnect with your power.
TAKE A BREATHER - Go on, close your eyes for a moment. Slow down your breathing and take 3 long … slow … deep … breaths. Allow your muscles to relax – especially those in your shoulders, hips and stomach and even around your eyes. Gift yourself a moment to become centered and grounded. Focus on your breath so that your attention is brought into the 'NOW'.
CHOOSE TO TAKE BACK YOUR POWER – say it out loud: “I TAKE BACK MY POWER AND I ACCEPT IT NOW!” Pick up that imaginary white flag and purposefully wave it to signify that you choose to no longer resist.
That’s it – there's no step 3!
Let me give you an example. If you are in a job you don’t like and you feel powerless to make a move away from the situation – your answer to the question “what am I getting in return?” might be “A pay cheque so I can afford to live in my home and put food on the table.” Would that be a good return? I’d say so! Wouldn’t it be MORE painful to have NO home and an empty stomach! Exactly! So, then you will see that it IS in your highest good to stay in that job for now.
Changing your perspective is the key to opening the door to something better. Stop resisting, and the situation can no longer persist. Remember – what we resist persists, what we think and feel we make real, and what we befriend we transcend.
Blessings on your precious journey of discovery.
Debra Jones - Reiki Master
Specializing in Stress, Anxiety & Depression
Most of us know what it feels like when we have compassion for someone. We feel kindness, caring and a willingness to help them. For many, this is a natural gift, available and offered to all.
In my healing practice, I've noticed a common issue - an imbalance in the energy of giving and receiving. This begs the question "Why is this such a common state?"
I have a theory: Perhaps we were never taught SELF-COMPASSION? We're taught COMPASSION - to be kind to others, "Don't hurt Johnny - be kind to him!" We're taught that it's more socially acceptable to stifle any anger or discomfort we feel and make sure the other person is comfortable instead. How compassionate - kind and caring - to the SELF is that?
Now I'm not suggesting that we stop having compassion for others, but I AM suggesting we need to develop a way to bring these energies into balance. We can do this easily in the healing room, but that doesn't help us daily. We need to add some tools to our tool belt so we have them when we need them.
Too often, our inner judge tells us we're selfish to think of ourselves. Contrary to common belief - self-compassion is NOT selfish because everyone benefits. If you're filled with what YOU need, you'll have MORE to share with others. Selfish is usually meant to be an insult; someone selfish goes beyond just taking care of themselves and actively takes from others. The opposite of selfish is self-sacrificing, which means, 'giving everything to others and sacrificing your own needs.'
Here's an interesting thought - If sacrificing my interests for another’s sake makes me feel good about myself, is my so-called 'act of kindness' selfish at its core? Hmm!
Sheesh! NOW what’s the right thing to do?
Well, let’s look at the facts: If, on an energetic healing level, our bodies appear out of balance when we lack self-compassion, and opening to self-compassion brings it back into balance, the answer is simple: Practice Self-Compassion!
Self-compassion creates a caring space within you that is free of judgment—a place that sees your hurt and your failures and softens to allow those experiences with kindness and caring.
This breaks the cycle of pain from self-judgement and allows you to become mindful of it’s harmful effects. Just notice what is happening and choose not to judge it or push it away. Remember: self-compassion is about being with your suffering in a kind, loving way, not about making suffering disappear.
Place your hands where you intuitively feel the pain. If you don’t feel it, wrap your arms around yourself in a warm, loving hug. Soothe the pain. Sometimes emotions will bubble up to the surface. Allow them to wash over you as waves of self-compassion. Breathe it through. Don’t hold onto it. Release any tension in your body. Let it go.
Say something kind and compassionate to yourself. Talk to yourself just as you would to a best friend who is suffering. Give yourself some loving kindness. Offer yourself the support you need.
Remember: Beating yourself up won’t help you be kinder to others. Our compassion for others will be greater when we can show compassion to ourselves.
I've been known to wear MY busy badge. I was proud of it! I thought others would be too! But I've since learned that this badge is an obstacle, not an honour, and wearing it allows us to hide behind what's REALLY going on - inadequacy!
Feeling NOT GOOD ENOUGH or needing to prove our worth is the affliction of a busy person. You're not really so busy - you're reading this aren't you?
Like other busy people, we can get to the end of our day feeling that we didn't get things done. This feeling eventually creates OVERWHELM which gets in the way of feeling accomplished and at peace with the world.
So if it's the illusive INNER PEACE you're searching for - you won't find it while wearing your busy badge - you simply HAVE to take it off!
Wait! Whoa! Scary! What will THEY think?
What if 'THEY' aren't that interested in how busy your life is or isn't? What if you could give yourself permission to BE instead of DO - remember: you're a human BEing not a human DOing.
'Busy' appears to others that you're keeping yourself occupied or you can't fit in anything else.
'Productivity' means creating something with your time.
If you're not productive then you're simply busy.
David Meyer from the University of Michigan published a study that showed that switching what you’re doing mid-task increases the time it takes you to finish both tasks by 25%.
Psychologically being busy is linked to the belief that "If I'm not busy, I'm not important or hardworking".
But you are important and you are hard-working so that belief doesn't FIT. If it doesn't fit, don't own it! Give it up!
Beliefs are just stories you tell yourself over and over. Decide on a NEW story and start telling that one to yourself over and over until it becomes your new belief.
Here's our NEW mantra:
Once YOU believe in yourself - eventually, so will 'THEY' (if that still matters to you).
According to spiritual teacher Matt Kahn, stress is often perceived as:
'What I FEEL, due to what other people DO'
'I feel the way I do because of how other people behave.'
However, he explains,if this is your perception you have (temporarily) lost your 'spiritual freedom' - you can't be free if your experience is caused by other people, and STRESS is the result of feeling restrained.
TO BECOME UN-STRESSED YOU NEED TO BECOME FREE
If you could pass your concerns over to someone else to deal with, you could go and do something else instead. Wouldn't that feel good? But instead, we choose to believe things like 'I must find the answer', 'I have to solve this' - and we get stressed trying to figure things out.
IF WORRY COULD SOLVE A PROBLEM - WE'D HAVE NO PROBLEMS
Think about it ... our default, when things get tough, is to stress and worry about it, yet that action NEVER solves it. Einstein taught us that if we do the same thing we get the same results. He also taught us that if we do something different we get a different result.
I'd like to share with you an idea I've put into action with incredible results, including a distinct sense of PEACE. I've been sharing it with others with similar results.
WATCH THIS VIDEO
And I'll leave you with a timely message from a Hopi Elder:
"You have been telling the people that this is the eleventh hour. Now you must go back and tell the people that this is the hour and there are things to be considered…
Where are you living?
What are you doing?
What are your relationships?
Are you in right relation?
Where is your water?
Know your garden
It is time to speak your truth
Create your community
Be good to each other
And do not look outside yourself for the leader"
Then he clasped his hands together, smiled, and said, "This could be a good time!"
"There is a river now flowing very fast.
is so swift that there are those who will be afraid. They
will try to hold on to the shore and they will feel like they are being torn
apart and will suffer greatly.
Know that the river has a destination.
The elders say we must let go of the shore, push off into the middle of the river, keep our eyes open and our heads above the water and see who is in there with you – and celebrate!
At this time in history, we are to take nothing personally,
least of all ourselves, for the moment that we do, our spiritual growth and
journey come to a halt.
time of the lone wolf is over. Gather yourselves.
Banish the word struggle from your attitude and vocabulary.
All that we do now must be done in a sacred manner and in celebration."
"We are the ones who we have been waiting for."
Our culture is changing. We are welcoming the ways of other cultures to help us find the way forward.
‘For centuries we’ve largely ignored the wisdom of those among us who are still directly connected to ancestral ways of knowledge.
As our modern lifestyle collides with the fact that our Earth is not capable of supporting our current way of life, we are finally starting to look to those who once lived in a state of indefinite sustainability and abundance, for a way forward’, says Jonathan Davis in his article An Indigenous Approach to Healing Trauma
As a healer, I understand the benefits of meditation; taking time out from the everyday. I often suggest it to my clients - firstly as a way to teach balance and secondly as a method of maintaining life balance.
Meditation is a way to return our focus to the NOW. Focusing on our long, slow, deep breaths turns our mind away from our many thoughts and allows us to break the cycle.
However, as I'm always looking to discover new ways to teach my clients balance, after a meditative experience of my own I was lead to something new:
Australian Aboriginal elder, Miriam-Rose Ungunmerr-Baumann shares with us the practice of
Power of Listening in Stillness
- known as ‘Dadirri’.
She tells us, 'Aboriginal culture has taught us to be still and to wait. We do not try to hurry things up. We let them follow their natural course - like the seasons. We watch the moon in each of its phases. We wait for the rain to fill our rivers and water the thirsty earth...
Allow us to introduce you to dadirri:
How YOU Can Experience Dadirri
people would call this contemplation. It’s the way we sit and take time and go
Reserve a space regularly for about 5 minutes, in the morning or evening. Go outside if you can. Simply sit and look at and listen to the earth and environment that surrounds you.
Focus on something specific, such as a bird, a blade of grass, a clump of soil, cracked earth, a flower, bush or leaf, a cloud in the sky or a body of water, whatever you can see.
You can also let something find you, be it a leaf, the sound of a bird, the feel of the breeze, the light on a tree trunk. There’s no need to try, just wait a while.
Be still and silent and listen…
Following this quiet time, there may be, on occasion, value in expressing in some way your experience of this quiet, still listening. You may wish to talk about the experience or journal, write poetry, draw, paint or sing. This needs to be held in balance - the key to dadirri is in simply being, rather than in outcomes and activity.Source
‘Surrender’ to some means to lose power but to others it is a truly powerful, blissful state. I don’t know about you but, given the choice, I’d rather experience it as the latter.
Many people associate the word ‘surrender’ to waving the white flag – to give up – to lose the battle.
The dictionary gives the word 3 meanings:
1. to agree to stop fighting, hiding, resisting, etc., because you know that you will not win or succeed
2. to give the control or use of (something) to someone else
3. to allow something (such as a habit or desire) to influence or control you
Consider a different perspective on those 3 meanings -
1. ‘to agree to stop fighting, hiding or resisting’ - isn’t that exactly what you’re doing – resisting something? You’ve been fighting something that you no longer need to fight. Yes, there was a reason you once needed to respond the way you did, but that time has passed, it no longer serves its purpose and now fighting is no longer in your highest good.
2. ‘to give control to someone/thing else’ – surrendering certainly can feel like giving away your power, however, what if the thing you were giving your power away to was ‘your highest good’ or your Spirit?
3. ‘to allow something to influence you’ – maybe this ‘something’ IS your higher self, and now you’ve decided to give it what it’s been asking you for. Maybe surrendering means to follow the desire for, or to reclaim peace and happiness.
So how can you merge Bliss with Surrender? Read on, I’ll show you in 6 easy steps...
To be able to merge the two, the above 3 perspectives need to resonate with you. Even if you can’t see HOW it can be done, just hold it as a possibility.
Are you ready for a shift, do you feel it’s time? Are you ready to move out of the darkness and into the light?
You’re not ready until you’re grounded. Think of a tree – in a wind storm – if the tree isn’t deeply rooted (grounded) the wind could easily force it lose its hold and fall over. Not good. Now - think of a large oak tree with its many roots that go deep into the earth and spread out in all directions. The wind can blow – as strong as it likes – and you’ll still be standing. You need to be an oak tree.
Only when you can trust that the shift will move you into a better space, will you allow that shift to happen, and not before.
Take a deep breath, then DECIDE to give up the fight. Don’t look back into the darkness – move forward into the light – and just keep going. Raise and open your arms, hands to the sky, to embrace the shift. Relax your stomach muscles, take a deep breath and receive the support of your higher self – your Spirit. Sense it pouring into your crown chakra at the top of your head. Let it fill you. Place your hands on your heart and receive into it the gift of love from your Spirit, feel it pouring into your heart. Then wrap your arms around yourself, one arm over your shoulder, allowing Spirit to love and support you. Feel Spirit rocking you gently.
Give it a little time and you’ll start to perceive the bliss. When the situation no longer feels like it controls you; when the buttons that once got pushed seem deactivated; when you feel like you’ve taken back your power – that’s when you know you’ve achieved blissful surrender.