Mar 2019

Are You Spiritually Self-Confident?

What does having 'spiritual self-confidence' mean to you?


We all know that self-confidence is a feeling of trust in your own abilities, qualities and judgment - having confidence in yourself, not doubting your abilities, certain you can manage any situation.

To be spiritually self-confident means that you are confident in your ability to remain at peace. Balanced and centered - unaffected by external or internal influences. It means you do not doubt yourself. You know yourself fully. It's not about a desire for power or domination. It's not about being better than the next person. It's being quietly and confidently at peace within yourself, throughout all the experiences that life contains.

That's me most of the time, but I can't say I'm consistent. Over time, I have learned to deviate less and less, but it is a process that still needs practice.

So, I am practicing spiritual self-confidence. How about you?

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NOTE: If you are consistently spiritually self-confident, please share your secrets to success so we can all benefit from your wisdom. Contact me

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However, if you're like me and still require some practice, you might find something useful in these six ways that are helping me to become more proficient:


1. Openness - Spiritual self-confidence is not arrogant or egocentric. It doesn't mean that you have all the answers either. It's important to remain open to new ideas and fresh thoughts. If your mind is constantly full, it is necessary to empty it - regularly.

You may benefit from practicing meditation. Regular 'quiet-time' (daily is my target) can help free up some mental space. I've found that I'm more grounded and centered if I've started my day with meditation. It helps me prioritize and avoid overwhelm.

'Meditation' can be as simple as sitting with your eyes closed. Success in your meditation practice is more likely if you can create an environment with no distractions. Even if the bathroom is the only quiet place accessible to you, create an environment that sets you up for success. Then simply get comfortable, and close your eyes. That's it! If you're new to meditation, start with 5 minutes and work your way up. I aim for 20 mins and take more if I can.

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2. Reflection - If you were successful in opening the space for new thought to enter, and you allowed that space to remain unfilled, you can then take some time to discern what you have discovered. Did you discover that your mind isn't used to being quiet? Was there a marked difference in your awareness before and after your quiet-time? Did you discover something new to try? Did you fall asleep? (then go to step 3)

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3. Non-judgement - of self and others. Letting go of the need to judge anything is a powerful game-changer. Deciding if something is good or bad isn't 'truth,' it's a judgement based on belief. Belief is simply a story you tell yourself over and over. The mantra I use when I get caught up in judgment helps me. I just tell myself, "It just is!"

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4. Detachment - Not every situation requires us to react. Discernment in knowing if, when, and how to respond allows me to remain calm inside. A timely reminder to "mind my own business" keeps me on track. It's a paradox, but detachment can really help you feel more connected - to the bigger picture, instead of the drama.

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5. Non-competition - I've spent years of putting others needs before my own and believing that I was less important than they. I eventually realized that it was me putting people on pedestals that made them appear to be more worthy of taking up space in the world. No-one is more important than you. No-one. Believing so, is simply judgment or perspective. When we realize that we all have a right to express ourselves in the manner we choose, as does everyone else, we allow a 'live and let live' approach.

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6. Self-mastery - We can easily lose self-confidence when we allow fear to lead us. A dear friend shared this analogy with me. The journey of our life is like being on a bus. The seats on the bus are filled with all the various aspects of ourselves - the confident self, the frightened self, the wounded self, the critical self. We (our spiritually conscious self) are not always the one driving our bus. Any part of our consciousness, the judge, the inner child, the saboteur, the victim, all have power to take the wheel whether or not they're invited to do so.

When we allow any emotion or perspective to be the driver of our bus, we travel in the directional choice of the self-in-charge. The driver of the bus can choose any direction, even one we don't want to travel towards. When you want to travel in a different direction, you must take the wheel and let the previous driver take a back seat while you course-correct.  The sooner you do this, the sooner you gain mastery of your life.

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These are ways to become more aware - of yourself and of the world around you. In my healing practice, together we discover all kinds of ways to become more self-confident. You can learn to take your power back and open your heart to yourself.
Being unkind to yourself in thoughts, words or actions prevents you from stepping into your self-confidence. This is self-sabotaging detraction that, once exposed and forgiven, holds no power over you.
We're all on a unique journey of discovery in this game of life. We learn through each experience and that's what life is about - the journey, not the destination.